The Ghost of Jimmy Stewart Bit Me

The ghost of Jimmy Stewart bit me while I was sleeping. It’s the only explanation. Just like Peter Parker, I now have a secret superpower. So you know how in the movie “Vertigo” Jimmy Stewart gets up on the stool and is like, “I look up… I look down… I look -” and then he almost faints and Midge has to come catch him? That’s me right now. Standing up makes me so dizzy I need Todd (my Midge) to come catch me. And as an extra added bonus everything sounds EXACTLY like the Mom in Peanuts to my left ear. “Wah wah WAH wah wah WAH wah.”

The other day I’m crossing the street and a giant SUV is making a left turn into the crosswalk. I catch the driver’s eye to make sure he can see me and he’s forced to stop and wait. As soon as I’m out of his path he zooms into the crosswalk, rolls down his window, and hollers something awful at me. But! He’s on my left and my secret superpower kicks in, so all I can hear is “Wah wah WAH wah WAH”. He looks bewildered when I don’t react at all. Thanks, Jimmy Stewart!

(By the way, not to worry – my doctor assures me I will be back to normal soon.)