16 Year Old Me


Growing up in California I was a deeply lonely teenager, but I had three friends I could ALWAYS count on: Wheels, Joey, and Snake.

Every Wednesday, I would run home to make it in time for the 3:15 PM showing of Degrassi Jr. High on PBS. My tv was a 13 inches and black and white, but I could still see the wonders of a far-away city called


where kids practiced love and tolerance and kindness and Caitlin could wear JC Penney’s jeans with yellow stitching on them and nobody ever said a goddamned word and they definitely didn’t convene a committee to explain that, um, nobody wears those jeans, Sage. I mean, Caitlin.

The PBS channel didn’t come in very well, so I had to spend the entire show, every Wednesday, standing next to the tv with my hand on the top but I never cared. The lives of those kids on the east end were so much more real to me than the kids who went to my own school. I’d go to sleep dreaming of living in a civilized city with civilized people like them.

I even wrote my first and only fan letter to the kid who played Wheels. Even though I never got a reply, I covered my school binder with the words “I heart Neil Hope”.

The girls in my class would ask who Neil Hope was.

“Oh, you don’t know him,” I’d say, archly. “He goes to school in CANADA.”

Want to see more Teen Sage? My solo show, Boxes Buried Deep, is running November 14 – 16.

Who wins when a crazy old lady battles a Princess? A true story.
More info and Tickets
November 14: 8 PM
November 15: 4 PM and 8 PM
November 16: 4 PM and 8 PM

Teaser trailer below:

(Musings and overheard conversations are posted every Monday and Wednesday on tyrtle.com.)