I overheard two women talking in a burger shop.
FIRST WOMAN: So what did she tell you?
SECOND WOMAN: She’s very interested in the house. VERY interested. She’s invested and wants to stay there.
FIRST WOMAN: But what about Ron?
SECOND WOMAN: Well. She says, first of all, that you need to end your relationship with Ron.
And I was like, oh, it’s a lawyer and client. Ron must be the Soon To Be Ex-husband, and “she” is the new girlfriend.
FIRST WOMAN: Really. You know, I wondered if she would. Because my relationship with Ron has been so poisonous.
SECOND WOMAN: She knows. She says that you need to end it as soon as possible.
FIRST WOMAN: I will. I will. She’s so right about this.
And I thought, wow, she sure respects her Soon To Be Ex-Husband’s New Girlfriend’s opinion.
SECOND WOMAN: She says that Ron is lying to you and that something terrible will happen.
FIRST WOMAN: And what about the drawings in the basement?
SECOND WOMAN: She says that someone is practicing witchcraft down there, and that if you don’t end it with Ron the impending disaster will be beyond your worst imaginings.
FIRST WOMAN: Wow. Wow. This is so important, thank you. So – is that happening right now?
SECOND WOMAN: She says it will happen.
At which point I realized it wasn’t a lawyer/client conversation at ALL but a PSYCHIC/client conversation!
FIRST WOMAN: I’m going to call Ron as soon as we’re done and we’re over. I’m so glad that she told me this.
At which point I really wanted the dynamic to be: two friends, and one started pretending to be a big ol’ psychic about a month ago because none of her dire warnings about the Horribleness of Horrible Ron had had any effect, but she knew her friend was a giant sucker and would go for Gertie The Victorian Scullerymaid’s opinion…
Photo Stu Spivack
Musings and overheards are posted every Monday and Wednesday on tyrtle.com.