Children Will Listen

I’m walking down the street with my teenage son. A teenage girl with bleached blonde hair and a tank top walks by and he turns his head to watch her.

SAGE Geez, kid. I thought you had better taste. [in a teenager voice] “Oh my god! My name is, like, Emily? And I TOTALLY love shoe shopping more than anything else! I would, like, DIE if I could just have, like, ONE of Nicki Minaj’s eyelashes, I would, like, put it on my WALL in a, you know, FRAME. I read a book once! It was called Vogue Magazine! The words were kind of hard, but I liked the pictures, like, a lot!”

My kid looked at me and grinned.

BOY Ah. So what I’ve learned here is that I should definitely judge all girls by what they look like.

SAGE [giggling] Noooo! No no no no no! That wasn’t what I meant!

BOY [laughing and laughing] Nope, nope, I understand now. Thanks for clearing that up. I know just what to do.

Photo A.Z.

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