Overheard: Suits

Click: true moments collected over the years. Stories too short for the stage.

I overheard three men in expensive suits on the subway.

SUIT ONE: I think the higher-end pens are worth it, actually.

SUIT TWO: My Pentel came with a highlighter. [pause] Which is fantastic. [longer pause] I mean that’s value for your money. Who needs a… like, Montblanc.

SUIT THREE: No, you know what pen is really fantastic? The ones that Rogers Cable gives away.

SUIT ONE: Oh yeah? Rogers?

SUIT THREE: Yeah, it doesn’t seem like they’d be any good but they really are.

[really long pause]

SUIT ONE: [clears throat] Ah …I’ve used the Rogers pens. They’re great, actually.

SUIT THREE: I have to tell you, I was in Patrick’s office the other day and HE was using a Rogers pen and I said –

SUIT TWO: You said, “Those are great!”

SUIT THREE: I DID. I DID say those are great. And Patrick? He goes, “I love the Rogers pens. You take this one.”

SUIT ONE: What? He gave you his pen?

SUIT TWO: You didn’t take it, did you?

SUIT THREE: I tried not to, I said no no, I can’t, but he insisted. So… you know. What could I do?

SUIT TWO: They are great pens.

SUIT THREE: So… now I’ve, ah, I’ve got to follow the rules of reciprocity.

SUIT ONE: You’ve gotta give him something, yeah. Jesus.

[long pause]

[trio of sighs]

Rogers Cable Pens, for when you absolutely positively have nothing whatsoever to talk about.

Photo Florbelas Fotographix